OMG. Cannabis sex lube, it exists!

Between two photos of the “personal lubricant experimental test batch” bottles recently posted on Facebook and Instagram, Colorado manufacturer, Apothecanna, was flooded with a hundred sales inquiries for the personal lube.  This is a hot product, everybody wants some!

But cannabis sex lube doesn’t really exist in the commercial world.  This is a research and development test batch made for kicks and giggles, and the company has no plans of releasing it as a product. There is no way to order it, not in the adult recreational market and not as a medical marijuana patient.  It’s not for sale and this product review is one big tease.

In a chat with James Kennedy, Apothecanna owner, I learned the sex lube recipe is an adaptation of Apothecanna’s popular Lip Buzz, medicated lip balm available in the Colorado medical marijuana market.  Both the personal lube and Lip Buzz contain the same botanical oils and essential oils of cannabis flowers, organic peppermint, organic tea tree, organic rosemary, grapefruit, and ylang ylang. This means the signature smell, anti-bacterial and anti-viral properties are the same, making these cosmetic pharmaceuticals or “cosmeceuticals”.

Cannabis flower oil, as a topical ingredient, doesn’t induce a high or have any kind of psychoactive effects. Instead, it stimulates blood flow. Mmm, interesting! Rounding out the list of ingredients is a base of blended gels from flax seeds and aloe and a small amount of silicone.

That’s fascinating and all, but how was the whoopee?  Here’s the method to the sexy madness:  I scored two sample bottles.  I enlisted two horny and vocal volunteers, with their sex partners to kick it with the lube.   I promised not to use their names (high five, thanks for banging!).  Then, like a freaky voyeur/social scientist, I made them fill out a questionnaire asking questions about their knowledge of lubes and natural products and the in-and-out details of their sex experiences with the cannabis lube.  I even asked about ladies squirting with a big O.

The first couple swears by lube. Although new to warming lubes, these lovers have seasoned knowledge of lubes and natural lubes. The natural and organic formulation was a big attraction.

Although my first female tester was initially hesitant to introduce the essential oils to her mucous membranes (that’s the cooter to some readers), she eventually went for it, and it did not irritate the sensitive tissues around her hoo hoo.

“Overall, the cannabis lube had good liquid cohesion, staying where you wanted it to. I liked the globby texture – it stayed slippery without getting sticky,” she reported. “It absorbs into the skin, which is not great for glide.  (But) it didn’t dry sticky on the skin and the scent… the scent of the cannabis lube lingers, you’d remember your lover long into the day.”

The second couple has used natural products, but never a natural lube. No stranger to conventional warming gels, the couple reported “the cannabis seems to add a nice stimulating effect.”  Although not a fan of the “sliminess,” the smell of the lube was enjoyed and the couple had a lot of fun with their first shared experience with sex lube.

The warming or numbing sensation of the lube made for some fun applications during sex for both couples.  The first couple enjoyed “awesome foreplay” and the lube made a “great orgasm chaser”.   For the second couple, performing anal sex was the best part.  Doink!

Multiple orgasms were achieved by both couples.  Everyone had enthusiastic fun with the cannabis sex lube and would like to sample more. Sad to say, neither woman achieved a squirting orgasm, but if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!

I’m an enthusiastic consumer and product tester of hemp and marijuana products.  This column showcases  the best of what I see and sample in the marketplace.

Do you eat hemp? You should. Hemp seed is a superfood, it contains all necessary macronutrients, complete protein and healthy polyunsaturated fats.  Hemp seed meat tastes simple, sweet and nutty.  Thankfully, getting the amazing health benefits of hemp is so easy with shelled hemp seeds.

Shelled hemp seed is one of the best innovations in hemp food. There are several brands of shelled hemp seeds, all of comparable and consistent high quality. I like them all, but I like the warmth of Hemp Hearts as a product name. So I tend to buy Hemp Hearts.  Who loves you?

Hemp loves you!

Hemp Hearts makes eating healthier plain and easy. My standard recipe for instant health food is fix whatever I’m eating and then right before serving,  I sprinkle some Hemp Hearts on the  dish.  With  3 tablespoons sprinkled on top,  a  boost of 10 grams of complete protein and  11 grams of  polyunsaturated Omega oils, in the perfect 3 to 1 ratio, gets added to the meal. Simple and easy.  For more hemp nutritional information, go here.

A remedial reminder: You cannot get high from eating hemp food. You cannot eat hemp and test positive for THC.   Any sensation of being high or stoned is purely a placebo effect. It’s fun to pretend though.

Hemp Hearts are made by Manitoba Harvest.   Manitoba Harvest, was founded in 1998, with the goals to educate consumers and manufacture the highest quality hemp foods.   Their ethics and social responsibility are part of the company structure. For example, one of Manitoba Harvest’s company commitments is to use organic and non-gmo food sources. You can be happy knowing your consumer purchasing power is supporting a conscious company and industrial hemp agriculture in North America.

So, start eating hemp regularly.    Hemp Hearts are available in health food stores and vitamin and supplement stores. Go to  http://www.manitobaharvest.com/ for more  information or to order your own Hemp Hearts.